Chip Wu Dues of Fury
In development
A dojo that stopped teaching and started filing. Five floors, one way up, and a charter they are refusing to give back.
The hall
Somewhere in the forest, a very large building with a very impressive sign
The sign says C.H.I.P.W.U. — the Central Headquarters for Inexplicable Paperwork, Waiting & Unreturned-calls.
It used to be a dojo. There are photographs. Nobody there has trained in years: the uniforms are spotless, the forms require other forms, and every door carries a notice explaining that a committee is reviewing the matter of the door.
They are not teaching anybody anything. They are, however, extremely busy, and they would like you to know that your call is important to them.
The Hollow Log
Across the forest, somebody is still actually training
A handful of animals practise in an actual hollow log. No sign, no committee, and no uniform worth the name. They would be a dojo in their own right, except that CHIP WU is holding their charter. Filed, some years ago. Somewhere.
They have asked for it back. They have been asked to fill in a form.
So somebody is going to have to go and get it.
No photograph on file
A request has been submitted.
The two dojos
One of them has a filing system
-
The antagonists
CHIP WU
Chipmunks, every one of them, and they will not admit anybody else. Scheming, secretive, and so thoroughly wrapped in their own procedure that they can no longer get out of it either.
- Admits
- Chipmunks only
- Uniforms
- Immaculate, unused
- Currently
- In a meeting
-
You
The Hollow Log
A badger, a hare, and whoever turned up this week wanting to learn. Patched uniforms, mismatched belts, and the only enrolment form in this entire story that has ever worked.
- Admits
- Anybody
- Uniforms
- Patched, in use
- Currently
- Training
The bill
Two games, both of them finished
Playable now
The Great Nut Raid
A grid-arena comedy set several floors below all of this, where the filing actually happens. Seven arenas, eight nuts, and a boss who has been hoarding grievances for longer than anybody can account for.
Playable now
Chip Wu: Dues of Fury
An NES-era beat-'em-up. Five floors of the hall, three fighters out of The Hollow Log, and one charter to get back. You pick your fighter at the enrolment form.
Play Dues of FuryAll five floors are built and playable, and it runs in this page. There is no download and no account.
Also in the building
Things to prod
About this project
What this is
A comedy about institutions, made independently and for nothing. No ads, no donations, no sales, no accounts, no analytics and no tracking of any kind.
Every organization, character, voice, machine and event in it was invented for the project. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by or operated by any real organization, and nothing in it is a statement of fact about one. The artwork, code, text and sound are original and were made for this.
The full disclaimer says all of that at greater length and with fewer jokes.
Chip Wu Dues of Fury
Five floors of the hall, three fighters out of The Hollow Log, and a building that would rather process you than fight you.
This game can be played without looking at it. Turn on Read the corridor aloud under Controls and comfort settings below, and the corridor, the threats and your own state are announced as you go. Press Q at any time for a full report.
Turn your phone sideways.
- Move
- ← → or A D
- Crouch
- ↓ or S
- Jump
- ↑ / W / Space
- Punch
- J or Z
- Kick
- K or X
Controls and comfort settings
What is in it. Five floors, from Reception up to the Grand Master's office — and then back to Reception, because she does not concede, she refers the matter. Every lap round the building is faster, busier and shorter on the clock, and worth more. A punch and a kick with real startup and recovery frames, strings you can chain, grippers that hold you until you mash out, filing cabinets that come down out of the ceiling, racking low enough that you have to go under it, and four bosses — The Grievance Hoarder, The Voicemail Gremlin who returns your call, The Chair and his gavel, and the Grand Master reading from the bylaws. The Interim turns up on every floor and folds every time.
Three fighters, a belt that sets the difficulty by how much training you claim to have, and an enrolment form that works immediately — the only form in the building that does. Six pieces of music — one per floor, one for any boss, all of them in A minor because it is all one building — synthesised at runtime from square, triangle and noise channels, and every pixel is drawn by the renderer; there is no art or audio file anywhere in this game.
Plays on a gamepad, on a touchscreen, or on the keys you choose — every action can be rebound. Full screen turns a phone sideways and fills it. Leave it alone at the title and the cabinet plays itself.
Convening a committee to load the arena…
This game can be played without looking at it. Turn on Read the game aloud in Accessibility & settings, and the arena, the blast radius and what is around you are announced as you go. Press Q at any time for a full report.
Move: arrows or WASD · Place nut: Space · Switch nut: Q / E or 1–4 · Interact: R · Pause: Esc
How to play
You place nuts. Nuts have short fuses. Nuts do not explode — they release a cartoon gas blast along the grid, and that blast clears bureaucracy.
Controls
| Action | Keyboard | Gamepad | Touch |
|---|---|---|---|
| Move | Arrow keys or WASD | Left stick or D-pad | On-screen pad |
| Place nut | Space | A | Nut button |
| Switch nut | Q / E, or 1–4 | L1 / R1 | Nut selector |
| Interact | R | X | Hand button |
| Remote detonate | F | B | Detonate button |
| Pause | Esc or P | Start | Pause button |
| Mute | M | — | Header button |
The arsenal
The obstruction
Reading danger
- Every armed nut draws a shrinking ring. When the ring is gone, the gas is not.
- Gas travels in straight lines and stops at walls. It destroys the first barrier it hits.
- Your chipmunk visibly panics when standing somewhere lethal. Trust the panic.
- Turn on blast previews to see exactly which tiles your selected nut will cover before you place it.
Soundboard
Every sound in this game is synthesised from scratch — oscillators, filtered noise and envelopes. There are no audio files. Unlock entries by playing.
Fartchestra
A small step sequencer. Arrange the sounds you have unlocked into a pattern. No microphone, no recording, no permissions — it only plays what this page generates.
Accessibility & settings
These settings apply immediately and are saved to this browser. Nothing here is sent anywhere.
Information
The game is a joke. This section is not. Everything below is either a legal notice or a statement of what this project is and is not.
Disclaimer
Chip Wu is a work of comedy, parody and satire. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by or operated by any real organization, nor by any of their officers, employees, representatives or affiliates. Every organization depicted in it is invented for the game.
What this is
- A comedy video game about an invented bureaucracy staffed by invented characters.
- Humour about process, delay and institutional absurdity in general terms.
- Entirely fictionalized. Characters, voices, events, machinery and quotations are invented.
What this is not
- Not an official communication from any organization.
- Not a depiction of, or a reference to, any real organization.
- Not a statement of fact about any real organization, and not a factual comparison between any.
- Not an allegation of criminality, corruption, dishonesty, harassment, abuse or any other misconduct by anyone.
- Not a depiction of any real employee, officer, organizer or representative.
- Not legal advice, and not a substitute for it.
Characters
“Chip WU” is a fictional spokesperson invented for this game. He is not based on, and is not intended to resemble, any real person. Any resemblance to an actual individual is unintended and coincidental. The same applies to every other character, machine and voice in the game.
Names and marks
Every organization name in this game was invented for it. No real organization’s name, logo, wordmark, colour scheme or visual identity has been used or approximated, and this site is not designed to be mistaken for the site of any real organization. All artwork, characters, code, text and sound in this project are original and were created for it.
Contact
If you believe something in this project crosses a line, the correct response is to tell us and have it changed. Contact details for this project are intentionally not published in this build.
Privacy
Short version: this game does not collect anything about you.
- There is no account, no login and no user profile.
- There is no server. The game is a folder of static files.
- There is no analytics, no tracking pixel, no advertising and no third-party script.
-
Your settings and campaign progress are stored in this browser’s
localStorage, under a single key. They never leave your device. - The only free text stored is the name you give your character. It stays in this browser, is never sent anywhere, and you can change or erase it at any time. Nothing else about you is recorded — no account, no identifiers, no history.
- You can erase everything at any time from Accessibility & settings → Reset progress, or by clearing site data in your browser.
The game requests no permissions. Audio is generated in the page and only starts after you interact with it. The Fartchestra never touches your microphone.
Credits
Made with
- Phaser — rendering and scene management (MIT).
- TypeScript, Vite, Vitest, Playwright, ESLint, Prettier — tooling.
- The Web Audio API — every sound, generated at runtime.
Art and audio
All artwork is original and drawn procedurally with the Canvas 2D API inside this project. All sound is original and synthesised at runtime. No stock assets, no sampled audio, no ripped game assets and no third-party artwork are used anywhere in this build.
Fonts
System font stacks only. No web fonts are downloaded.